THE POWER OF INDIFFERENCE

Walking through Railway Stations, waiting at the cross roads during traffic jams in Rickshaws, talking to the vendors in my college canteen really put the world in a new perspective.

Apart from the usual dirt and garbage found in all the cities in India, there was something else that was frankly quite ugly that I noticed. It was the astonishing ability of saying "no". This "no" is most definitely quite different from the “no” used at hotels when asked for something one doesn't want. At this particular traffic signal, the "no" I refer to, came so naturally (and still comes naturally because most behaviour cannot change overnight), I was appalled at the fact that all of us who said no at that traffic stop went on waiting for the sign to change as if nothing happened.  While the impact of that no was so inconsequential to us, it impacted one individual in ways that is not as easy to comprehend.

The man was wearing a dirty green lungi, had a stick in his hand, silver hair, was almost bald. He walked with a quiver in his step and looked weak but the image that stayed with me was the look in his eyes, a helpless haunted look that could only be brought about by the desperation to have a better life. He didn't have to tell anyone he was troubled, his pain was that visible.

At least for those who bothered to look at him carefully. He first went to the car in front of the rickshaw I was in. His hand stretched out as if holding a cup. He didn't get anything. Then he went to the lady on the scooter, received nothing. Next, to the man waiting on his bike right next to the rickshaw, got nothing. Came to the auto and got nothing and walked past the auto and I doubt he got any money from the vehicles behind me. What I did notice is that all four individuals he approached had a standard reaction; a shake of the head.

So why didn’t we give him money?  Was it because we wanted to save our money? No. I don't think so, two rupees or ten wouldn’t make much change to the budget we live with. Even though the pain in his eyes was noticeable, he didn’t receive the cash. Which made me question why he didn’t?  Why did people ignore it, shake heads, feel bad and walk away? Who told them that giving money away was not a good idea?

Maybe this is where the privilege lies. Where you don’t constantly recognise that you have that aspect of authority to deny someone something. This lack of acknowledgement of privilege itself is a privilege, no one has ever had to tell you that you have something that others don’t.